Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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