took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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