Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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