They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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