Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
