Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we're so committed to being not committed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
