I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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