Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
