Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
