So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
