Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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