Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
