CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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