The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
