Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
