Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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