Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
