She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
