I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
