If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
