with your own penis?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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