His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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