youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I need help removing her.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
