i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
