What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
