They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize