I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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