i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
