I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
