I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize