I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
