you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
