I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
