Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
