i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
