She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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