Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
