Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
