Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
