I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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