He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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