sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
