Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
