Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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