I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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