Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
