Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
