i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
accomplished twins. life is a go
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
