we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The struggles of a small town man whore
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
