You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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