Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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