Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
