her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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