508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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