I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How naked do you want me to be?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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