went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
