On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
