I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
All I want is dick and wine.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
