You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
