i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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