seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize